You’re More Than A Facade

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We see hundreds of people every day, each different from the other. And what makes all of us so diverse? Is it the character we hold or the personality we carry?

Character is something that imbibes in you, not noticeable very often. However with respect to personality which is always visible, you have an alternative. You can opt to be cheerful when you are gloomy or pretend to be confident when nervous. You pick a personality trait, try it over and over, and eventually it becomes a part of you. From a shy-vulnerable young girl at school to the flexible extrovert I am today, It’s all been a matter of choice!

I think I’m not the only one has the Fake It Till You Make It Syndrome. Check if you have these symptoms.

  1. The ‘I’m not good enough. I need to fit in’ Symptom.

Often happens when people believe that the kind of person they are trying to be, is way better than what they are. Basically they want a better version of themselves or long for social acceptance/appreciation.

  1. The ‘What will people think’ Symptom

I’m sure every Indian can relate to this – ‘Log kya kahenge – What will people say’ thing. Most parents across the world would say this, if their child wants to be in a homosexual relationship.

  1. The ‘Hide your emotions and qualities’ Symptom

Efforts to hide your pain, guilt or weaknesses, either for good or just to act invulnerable.

  1. The ‘I’m just too modest’ Symptom

Sometimes people are too talented and don’t want to show-off. By God’s grace, I’m very rarely affected by this symptom.

  1. The ‘I wanna be like her/him’ Symptom.

Happens often out of admiration and doesn’t last long.

  • I didn’t get a promotion from my Manager. Let me pretend to be better.
  • That girl/guy is too good for me. Let me pretend to be better.
  • My mom loves my younger brother more. Let me pretend to be better.

The fact is that everybody pretends, either by choice, or by compulsion to impersonate someone who is better. But now I ask – Why? Is it even essential?

The made-up personalities are more prominent in young-adults or teenagers. But the seeds are often sown at a tender age when the parent tells the child “You have to grow up and be like Daddy” or “Your best friend got an A+ while you got a C”. And when the child grows to understand the world better, people tell “Your uncle is so successful. Learn from him. Be like him someday”.

Look at him”, “Be like him” and WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD’S INDIVIDUALITY?

Motivating someone to be better isn’t an issue, but comparison doesn’t motivate. You compare a 45-year-old with his colleague, and the former is bound to turn off, feel low and insecure. If comparisons can leave an impact on the adult, a child’s feelings of not being good enough is guaranteed.

If you can’t accept yourself with all your strengths and flaws, how do you expect others to love you for who you are? Don’t lose yourself at any cost. Treasure your originality and the right people will respect it. Because to love is beautiful, and to love thy real self is divine.

“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection”

~The Bhagvad Gita

***Click on the title to read my previous post Passion As Profession

Passion As Profession

Self-satisfactory jobs, whole-hearted work commitment, loyalty and love for the profession one chooses are scarce these days. Companies use their employees as ladder to their own profits and success. Meanwhile employees choose new workplaces to improve their income and standard of living.

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As a regular student I could never understand the real point of this quote. Having been in the industry for merely two years now, I’m confident that every experienced/inexperienced employee in an IT can relate to this line. I’m talking about the JOB INSECURITY the multi-national companies offer their resources. It is the fear of employee lay-offs. It is the fear of financial instability, the fear of failure and the fear of losing your job. The fear of a new job search and various interview processes.

It is the fear that holds you back. It holds you back from getting involved and giving your best on what you do. It holds you back from trying something new.

Ask yourself –

  • Doesn’t job insecurity arise because you focus more on earning than on doing what you love?
  • Do you believe in pursuing your passion as a career?
  • Will pursuing the career you love leave you bankrupt?
  • Won’t you be happier and more productive if you do what you love doing?
  • Won’t you be more satisfied if you make the right career choices?

I’ve heard when you love what you do, you’re bound to be successful. Even if you don’t succeed, the idea of enjoying what you do and giving it your best leaves you satisfied. I believe that passion ignites your work, and like a rocket, it accelerates you past road blocks that may come about. Any obstacle that comes your way is accepted and fought off with a creative solution.

I understand that it’s easier said than done. But at the end of the day, we all fail to get out of our comfort zone. We fail to live for ourselves. For us, by hook or crook, EARNING MATTERS! MONEY MATTERS! And sadly most of us “The Normal People – Like Me” tend to choose the easiest and safest careers. We choose to Go through life and not Grow through life. We happily compromise with our dreams and live ever after.

“As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears.”

~Rumi

***Check out my previous post here When Words Fail!

When Words Fail!

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How often have we heard these expressions and idioms – “I’ve no words”, “I’m outta words”, “Words fail me”… a million times? YES!

And how many times do we actually fail at words? How many times do we really feel the things that are inexpressible, that are beyond words? Sometimes…May be! 🙂

We might not know how languages came into existence, however we all would unanimously agree that language is probably the best invention on earth. We speak, we write, we read, we listen and we imagine based on what we listen. Language can more often be the reason behind liking, loving or hating someone. Language can influence to spread both humanity or cruelty.

According to Google, there are roughly 6500 languages spoken around the world. The English language in the year 2016 has 1,035,877.3 words. DO NOT ASK ME, why is it a floating number with 877.3 (point 3) because i don’t know (that’s the reason behind mentioning ‘According to Google’)! And no more math please!

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Back to point zero, why is that a collection of a zillion words across all languages fail to express the little realizations we get? These are  moments when we experience simple, yet unusual things. Such feelings and ineffable moments that seem like infinity. No matter how hard you try to catch hold of them, they slip like bubbles in water. It seems impossible to bring these feelings to life outside of you. It seems impossible to map this epiphany to words. The mere idea of penning it down would be foolishness.

Some people might agree, however some might have much confidence in their vocabulary and language skills. But I believe, no matter how extraordinary or exceptional one can be, one will always fail at words! Human can only invent the word ‘PERFECTION’ but being or creating one that is perfect is not in our hands. Our capability is not eternal. Our skills have limits. We have limits!

Though perfection is around and everywhere in the form of nature, it’s beyond our reach. There does exist something that is limitless and never ending. Trying to capture it in the form of words or on a piece of paper will never be attainable.

“The Rock! His work is perfect, For all his ways are just;…”

Deuteronomy 32:4 – The Bible

This might just not be the right conclusion, because the fact is that I’m lost and clueless on how to end this piece of writing. Guess I’m just failing at words and I always will. 🙂

***Looking forward to read something with a #LifeTag. Check out my previous post Let Things Go!

Let Things Go!

I remember the time when my dad gifted me, upon much request – my very own, first, personal Walkman audio player. I was 10 then, over a decade ago (2002 to be accurate). The struggles we faced with the reel of the cassettes and not to forget our global Fix Your Cassette mantra – “Insert a pen in the reel hole and rotate”.

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Everything has become so much simpler over these 10-15 years. Even the little effort of pressing the button to play, rewind or forward is now replaced with the ease of touch.

From sending written letters to making calls via the mobile phones, jogging in the open to the room-confined treadmills, our lifestyles have changed drastically.

Things have become easy! But has it made life any easy?

Ask yourself.

  • Does having a treadmill make you fit?
  • Does having a smart phone make you smart?
  • Does a laptop make a person better professional?
  • Or does having the most expensive designer garments & accessories make you more appealing and likable?

I agree it’s great to have the best things. But is it a necessity to have THE BEST THINGS?

Sometimes life becomes all about our desires and pleasure. It’s more about the brand we wear, the phone we use, what we own, the house we live in.

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Spiritual Story by Unknown – A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation began and soon the pleasantries turned into complaints about the stress in work and life of the alumni.

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Offering his students a cup of coffee, the professor brought in a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken by you all, leaving behind the cheap-ordinary ones. Be assured that the quality of the cup, adds no value to the taste of the coffee”

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the pleasure giving objects like the job, money, gadgets, the clothes brand, vacation, house, position in the society etc…are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life.

The kind of cups we have does not define or change the quality of life we live.

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The objective here is not that you should give up on all the things that you want to own/achieve in life. But remember, their absence shouldn’t leave you feeling incomplete and worthless.

The ‘Walkman’ was not an asset to my childhood or memories. It’s the people and experiences that we remember, not the things. To summon up, the next time you can’t afford an IPhone 8s or 10s plus, remember the happiest people don’t have the best of everything.

 

***Stressed out? Then you must click on this one – Then Why Worry? 

***Click Here to check out my favorite post.😉

Then Why Worry?

Worry” – This two-syllable word is the easiest word we’ve come across in many ways.

Easy to pronounce ‘wʌri‘, Easy to spell ‘W.O.R.R.Y‘ and Easy to get into! Isn’t it?

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Staying worried is so simple!

People can get worried over anything – the past, the present and the future, the real and the imaginary, the big and the small, the actual and the fiction. You get disturbed by thinking about the less annual raise you got the previous year, how miserable you were with your ex-relationship partner/ex-business partner, why is your child always on the phone, why is your daughter late home everyday, how will you accumulate enough money for the new house and your unborn child’s future education, what if you die poor, what will happen to your wealth and property if 22nd December 2020 is the DoomsDay, blah blah and blah…

Worrying can be helpful a good thing, when it spurs you to take action and solve an issue. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem.

Perhaps if worrying helped us lose a few pounds, it would make good sense to worry! But according to scientists, worrying increases the risk of short-term memory loss, heart attacks and other NOT SO LIKABLE things.

As humans, it is practically impossible for us to stop worrying. However, there are ways we can take things easy. Let’s do the math. 😉

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Given Data:

You have 2 variables:

  1. Do you have a problem in life
  2. Can you do something about it

The variables can have the following values:

  1. Yes
  2. No

Scenario #1

Do you have a problem in life = No

Therefore, Why worry? 🙂

Scenario #2

Do you have a problem in life = Yes

So, Can you do something about it = Yes

Then Why worry? 🙂

Scenario #3

Do you have a problem in life = Yes

So, Can you do something about it = No

Then Again, Why worry? 🙂

Hence, concluding this math with a little bit of optimism.

“Don’t worry that your life is turning upside down.

How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

~Rumi

Until next time, Keep Inspiring 🙂

***Looking forward to read something with a #LifeTag. Check out my  post Let Things Go! 

***Want to share your problems with someone? You MUST Click Here!

7 Cups Of Tea – A Review

Most of us would have come across this phrase which I believe in.

“The best things in life happen when you least expect it”

One of the good things that happened to me recently was stumbling on this online community called the 7 Cups Of Tea.

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1. What is the 7 Cups Of Tea?

The 7 Cups of Tea is an online community that provides emotional service to the end users. This site connects you to well-trained Active Listeners who want to provide compassionate care to the people in need by listening to them.

2. What’s with the name of the site?

The first thing that struck my head was “What kind of name is that?” It indeed sounded way too strange and unique. Well, this is what the website explains about the origin of the name.

7 Cups of Tea is actually the name of a famous Chinese poem. The suggestion is that each cup provides a different level of healing. It’s important that our community feels that 7 Cups of Tea is a place where you can sit down and have several cups of tea with a friend. It isn’t just a one-time meeting.

3. Why did the Founder feel the necessity to create 7 Cups Of Tea?

The founder, Glen, was sitting at his kitchen table talking to his wife about a problem he was having. Her close listening made him feel a lot better, and it occurred to him that he was incredibly lucky.

Not everyone has a friend or family member to talk to at all times, nor do they always feel comfortable doing so if they can. The only other real option is therapy, but that can be expensive and carries an unfortunate stigma, plus it involves scheduling. Glen envisioned 7 Cups of Tea as a third space to fill the gap in between the two current options.

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MY EXPERIENCE:

My first experience with 7 Cups of Tea as a Guest/Member was so incredible that I was looking for ways to become a Listener. Soon I trained myself to be an Active Listener and was ready to hit the floor.

Within two days of becoming a Listener i came across multiple people seeking help. I connected with people across all age groups having all sorts of problems.

  • Relationship Issues
  • Financial Issues
  • Professional Issues
  • Sexual Harassment
  • Teenage Problems
  • And what not…

For a girl like me who is naive and has always been so protected & shielded under the wings of parents, listening to these different stories across all severity was a soul-shaking experience.

In a way it feels immensely great to contribute to people’s lives via these simple and affordable means because I know, there is always someone out there who needs a helping hand.

Click Here to know more about the 7 Cups community.

Until then – Keep Inspiring! 🙂

 

***Wanna check out my first blog post? Click Here!

***Looking forward to read something with a #LifeTag. Check out my  post Let Things Go! 

Should I? Really?

OUTSIDE

“This is your very first post” says the default content on my First Blog Post.

*Why am I even doing this stuff?

INSIDE

A close friend of mine told me recently “You 90’s kids are all the same. Immature and always confused. You guys don’t have a direction in life”.

  1. I’m not a kid.
  2. I know he was right.

I’m confused! I’m directionless! And I’m not the only one.

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Most of the individuals I come across of my age group or older,  are smart and successful people. They all own a Bachelors/Masters degree they’re proud of, a job that pays them well enough to afford good brands, a family that is always besides to support them.

What else would a person long for?

In an interview with Simi Garewal on Rendezvous the Former Miss Universe Lara Dutta said –

“I came to a point in my life where I just woke up one morning and I said, I’ve traveled to pretty much every city in the world, I’ve seen architecture, beautiful things, artifacts, and everything that’s pleasing to the eye. I’ve seen it all. I’ve eaten the most incredible cuisine and food. I’ve done that! I’ve a relationship that I’m very happy in. I’ve a career that I’m proud of. I’ve achieved things that a normal 27 year old would not achieve.

But there was something missing. There was this feeling of complete emptiness.”

So I’m not the only one. Even the Miss Universe feels the same way.

And that’s relieving!

*Why am I even doing this stuff?

I know that I’m just another average girl with average skills. I’m not a professional blogger. I’m not gonna have thousands of readers or make a fortune out of blogging.

Then WHY? Why waste time and energy?

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Well, I don’t have an answer to WHYs. I’m a confused & directionless 90’s kid!

All I know is that I do something “not so interesting” to make a living and I will continue to do it, because to live a good life I need good money.

But If I can spend 40 hours a week on something that I’m not passionate about, I think i should spend 4 hours a week on something that keeps me keen & interested!

Just go ahead because there’s nothing to lose. 🙂

OUTSIDE

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