We see hundreds of people every day, each different from the other. And what makes all of us so diverse? Is it the character we hold or the personality we carry?
Character is something that imbibes in you, not noticeable very often. However with respect to personality which is always visible, you have an alternative. You can opt to be cheerful when you are gloomy or pretend to be confident when nervous. You pick a personality trait, try it over and over, and eventually it becomes a part of you. From a shy-vulnerable young girl at school to the flexible extrovert I am today, It’s all been a matter of choice!
I think I’m not the only one has the Fake It Till You Make It Syndrome. Check if you have these symptoms.
- The ‘I’m not good enough. I need to fit in’ Symptom.
Often happens when people believe that the kind of person they are trying to be, is way better than what they are. Basically they want a better version of themselves or long for social acceptance/appreciation.
- The ‘What will people think’ Symptom
I’m sure every Indian can relate to this – ‘Log kya kahenge – What will people say’ thing. Most parents across the world would say this, if their child wants to be in a homosexual relationship.
- The ‘Hide your emotions and qualities’ Symptom
Efforts to hide your pain, guilt or weaknesses, either for good or just to act invulnerable.
- The ‘I’m just too modest’ Symptom
Sometimes people are too talented and don’t want to show-off. By God’s grace, I’m very rarely affected by this symptom.
- The ‘I wanna be like her/him’ Symptom.
Happens often out of admiration and doesn’t last long.
- I didn’t get a promotion from my Manager. Let me pretend to be better.
- That girl/guy is too good for me. Let me pretend to be better.
- My mom loves my younger brother more. Let me pretend to be better.
The fact is that everybody pretends, either by choice, or by compulsion to impersonate someone who is better. But now I ask – Why? Is it even essential?
The made-up personalities are more prominent in young-adults or teenagers. But the seeds are often sown at a tender age when the parent tells the child “You have to grow up and be like Daddy” or “Your best friend got an A+ while you got a C”. And when the child grows to understand the world better, people tell “Your uncle is so successful. Learn from him. Be like him someday”.
“Look at him”, “Be like him” and WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD’S INDIVIDUALITY?
Motivating someone to be better isn’t an issue, but comparison doesn’t motivate. You compare a 45-year-old with his colleague, and the former is bound to turn off, feel low and insecure. If comparisons can leave an impact on the adult, a child’s feelings of not being good enough is guaranteed.
If you can’t accept yourself with all your strengths and flaws, how do you expect others to love you for who you are? Don’t lose yourself at any cost. Treasure your originality and the right people will respect it. Because to love is beautiful, and to love thy real self is divine.
“It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection”
~The Bhagvad Gita
***Click on the title to read my previous post Passion As Profession